her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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