your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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