i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
