He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
