Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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