hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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