I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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