what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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