he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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