Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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