I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
