The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
