i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
