You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
