Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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