Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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