fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
