My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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