Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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