I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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