I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
