4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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