who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
