You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
