This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
please don't ironically join a cult
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