ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
