Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
