idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
