Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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