When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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