Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
