just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
