He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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