help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
