sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
