shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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