just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My nipple is on Facebook.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
