So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I want to fling myself into the sun
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize