this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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