We're like a lot better than the average bears
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
