We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
