I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
