I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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