would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
