Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
