I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
