you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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