Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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