I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i think my mom watched the whole time
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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