I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
