youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
