Pappa wants mamma naked
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
