My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I need moral support for this bender
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
