Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
