I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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