Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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