Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize