I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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