and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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