Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You can't special order awesome
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
