Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
