I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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