problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
