but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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