I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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